On waiting

The application process is excruciating.

I have been filling out applications and submitting resumes and interviewing since last October (first for Ph.D. programs, now for jobs). There’s nothing more nerve-wracking than being told to expect a call by such and such a date and not actually receiving a call that day. I don’t know why it seems like every office indulges in this practice lately.

It’s so easy to give into anxiety and despair during times of uncertainty.

I’m trying my hardest to see this time as a time of sanctification, a time of shaping me into the person that God wants me to be. The reality is that I’m just a bundle of nerves pretty much constantly. I’m stressed out and would give almost anything for my phone to ring.

The truth is that there’s nothing I can do. I can’t make my potential employers call me and I can’t reverse the hands of time and do my applications better.

I am not the master of my own fate.

In all honesty, I don’t have a great nugget of theological wisdom to give you this week. All I can do is let you into the bundle of nerves that is my mind right now. And, honestly, it’s nice to not be the person who has all the answers every once in a while. All I can do is keep wrestling and trusting that there is something waiting on the other side of all of this uncertainty.

By Timothy

Editor’s Note: Timothy is a contributor to this blog, but is not the only writer whose words you may see here. To read more by Timothy or to see the other writers, visit the authors’ categories in the menu at the top right corner of the screen.

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